President Announces All 50 States Sign On to Medicaid Drug Savings, Then Signs Himself Out for a Nap

Flanked by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., CMS Administrator Dr. Mehmet Oz, and a lineup of governors six officials deep behind the Resolute Desk, the President declared that all fifty states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico had signed on to his new Medicaid 'GENEROUS' drug-pricing model — a savings plan that, apparently, didn't extend to his own waking hours. As each dignitary took a turn thanking him for the achievement, cameras caught his eyes sliding shut again and again, prompting one journalist to narrate live that the Commander-in-Chief was 'fading fast' with his 'face dropping.' Officials maintain the footage proves nothing beyond a president deep in thought about prescription costs — thoughts that, judging by the stretches of closed eyes, ran uncommonly deep.

As always: this is satire. The sighting above is fictional and invented for comedic effect. Read the full disclaimer.