President Welcomes Xi Jinping for Rare State Visit, Then Retreats to a State of Unconsciousness

Rolling out the full pageantry of a state visit — military flyovers, a Rose Garden review, and an evening banquet — for Chinese President Xi Jinping's first trip to Washington in a decade, the President appeared to extend the hospitality to a nap of his own. As Xi, speaking through a translator, told him the two nations 'stand to gain from cooperation and will both lose in confrontation,' cameras caught the Commander-in-Chief's eyelids growing heavy and fluttering shut for stretch after stretch, his shoulders slumping forward in his chair. It marked the second time this month cameras caught him drifting off during a nationally televised occasion, following his showing at the 9/11 memorial two weeks prior. The White House's position, as ever, is that he was simply blinking — this time, evidently, in several languages at once.

As always: this is satire. The sighting above is fictional and invented for comedic effect. Read the full disclaimer.