850,000 Fireworks Prove No Match for One Determined Nap

At the self-proclaimed 'largest fireworks show in history' honoring America's 250th birthday, an 11-second clip appeared to show the guest of honor slumbering serenely through the pyrotechnic finale — 850,000 fireworks, zero of them loud enough. Defenders countered with footage of him scrolling his phone minutes earlier, establishing the official timeline: awake, phone, gone. The next morning he ruled it the 'Best fireworks show, EVER!' — high praise for a show largely experienced with closed eyes.

As always: this is satire. The sighting above is fictional and invented for comedic effect. Read the full disclaimer.