Vol. I · No. 1

America's Most Vigilant Nap-Tracking Authority

Is Trump Asleep?

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Solemn Ceremony Interrupted by Distinguished Snoring
DISPUTED
File Photo
April 18, 2026Front Row, Marble Hall

Solemn Ceremony Interrupted by Distinguished Snoring

During a ceremony of great national importance, attendees noted a rhythmic, dignified sound emanating from the front row. White House officials clarified the President was 'deep in thought,' a state apparently indistinguishable from deep in sleep.

Official Record

Snooze-O-Meter52/100
Verdict
DISPUTED
Duration
Unclear
Source
The acoustics of the room itself

As always: this is satire. The sighting above is fictional and invented for comedic effect. Read the full disclaimer.