President Unveils Landmark Drug Pricing Deal, Then Quietly Prices In a Nap

Fresh off unveiling a slate of new drug-pricing agreements with pharmaceutical giants, the President settled in to hear Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. heap praise on the achievement — and promptly filed the compliments away for a well-earned rest. Cameras caught his eyes sealed shut for more than twenty seconds as he slumped forward in his chair, propping himself back upright just as the applause died down. The White House's rapid-response account insisted he was merely 'blinking,' a blink evidently long enough to qualify for its own zip code. By one count, it marked the 20th time this year cameras have caught the Commander-in-Chief drifting off mid-appearance — a tally growing faster than the promised drug savings.

As always: this is satire. The sighting above is fictional and invented for comedic effect. Read the full disclaimer.